Fish and Owl
by Nan Ma
Summary: Oneshot. Gan Ning keeps on trying to cook for and feed Ling Tong. Ling Tong thinks he's weird. Meanwhile, Lu Xun draws a parallel to the natural world. Reuploaded due to processing errors.


_Stupid pirate!_ "No- Gan Ning, stop!" Ling Tong snorted, pushing his most recent offering away. It was a pan-seared carp, its firm white flesh steaming underneath a pile of green onions. "Really, I'm full now!"

"Come on, don't be a whiny brat. If you're full at least have a bite," Gan Ning urged.

"Why turn it into leftovers?"

"'Cause. Besides, it's just carp. You've got a pond full of them."

"If you keep this up, you'll cook it empty." Ling Tong stood up and patted his stomach. "Look, you're going to make me fat. Why the sudden interest in cooking this past week- and why do _I_ have to eat all of your stuff? I'm going to get fat! You're going to make me fat in my own house!"

Gan Ning came over to Ling Tong's side of the table crossed his arms. "What's wrong with the fish? I think it looks good."

"It's not that it's no good; it's that I'm _stuffed._" He waved his hands in the air. "You know. Like, really full?" Ling Tong scratched his head and furrowed his eyebrows at the pirate.

"What, you're too girly to finish it?" Gan Ning taunted.

"No. Maybe I've had enough of your crap cooking for a while," he snapped.

"Hey- hey, shut up! It is _not-_"

Ling Tong crossed his arms. Gan Ning's cooking actually wasn't horrible- just plain and simple but at the same time overseasoned and a bit overdone. He supposed that it was just the kind of cooking a man out on his own would do if he didn't have access to any eatery. Still, he was definitely not taking another bite on the risk of exploding. "Fine, it's okay. And what if I just wrap it up for now and eat it later?"

"Why can't you eat it here?" Gan Ning asked.

"Why do you want me to eat it in front of you?" Ling Tong snorted. "Besides, I've got a meeting with Lu Meng and Lu Xun now. I gotta go," he said.

Gan Ning crossed his arms. "As long as you eat it. And no chickening out," he warned.

Ling Tong rolled his eyes and made plans to give it to the next guard he could fine. "I won't. Unlike some people I don't need to cheat on a bet."

Gan Ning slung an arm over the taller man's shoulder. "I wasn't the one who tried to count horses as people last skirmish," he chortled, leaning his head in closer seemingly by accident.

Ling Tong quickly shoved the pirate's head away. "Shut up."

"I'm making ginger chicken tomorrow."

"Great. Tell someone who cares."

"And you're going to eat it," Gan Ning continued.

Ling Tong rolled his eyes as he finished wrapping up the fish in a basket dish. "Gan Ning you're going to make me _fat._"

"You can exercise it off."

"I'm going to have to lap all three kingdoms!"

Gan Ning smiled, and Ling Tong turned his head away to hide a grin.

"I'll seeya later, man. I'm going to go get my ear talked off now."

"Eat the fish."

"Yeah." Ling Tong slung the cloth bag over his shoulder as he picked up his shoes at the front courtyard. "I will."

* * *

><p>"Lu Xun."<p>

The boyish strategist turned around, dropping a scroll from the pile in his arms. "Oh! Hello, Ling Tong. Lord Sun Quan and Master Lu Meng are discussing something right now, but they should be out in half an hour or so… I hope we aren't wasting your time or taking you away from anything!"

Ling Tong shrugged. "No, not at all. I needed an excuse to get away anyways."

"From what?"

"Nothing. Oh yeah. Hmm. Hey, you hungry, Lu Xun?"

The young boy shrugged noncommittally, still smiling.

"Uh, Gan Ning made you guys over here a fish or something and he told me to give it to you."

"Really?" Lu Xun asked, the corner of his mouth pouting out. "That is thoughtful of him. I haven't eaten since morning."

"Yeah, he said he figured that much!" Ling Tong laughed fakely. "Here, this isn't a library table is it?"

"No, it is safe to eat on," Lu Xun said, clearing out a few scrolls from the surface of the table. "But if Gan Ning made it for everyone, we should wait for Master Lu Meng."

Ling Tong chuckled and started to untie the cloth bag. "I think Lu Meng would want you to eat. You look like you're going to collapse from hunger!"

"I am a bit hungry," Lu Xun admitted, fetching a few table sets from a cabinet. "Give Master Gan Ning my thanks. I truly appreciate it."

"'Course." Ling Tong sat down and chuckled as Lu Xun hurriedly dismantled a clean piece from the side of the fish, dropping it clumsily in his plate in his haste. The poor kid was cursed with impeccable manners- even when this hungry he ate quite daintily, whereas, Ling Tong figured, he and Gan Ning would have gone to their fingers.

But two bites in, Lu Xun dropped his chopsticks down. "Oh! Ling Tong, aren't you going to eat too?"

Ling Tong laughed. "Naw… I'm stuffed. I just ate."

"Oh. Okay, then. Where?"

He shrugged. "Gan Ning showed up at my house, went through my stuff, and started cooking."

Lu Xun looked surprised. "Just like that?"

Ling Tong rolled his eyes. "Yeah. It's really kind of weird. He's been doing this for the last week. Aww, Lu Xun, eat more. You're going to faint staring at the fish like that!"

The boy complied, taking another slice of the white flesh. "That is strange. Do you have any clue why? Maybe he is simply showing off his cooking skills."

"Maybe. Eh, but then he would have done a whole goddamn public banquet- you know Gan Ning. As many people, as much flash as possible."

"Ah. You have a point." Lu Xun considered his thoughts for a moment. "I do not know. He just comes and cooks at your house?"

"Weird as hell."

"Maybe he wants company for a meal."

"Then he'd have dragged me down to the meat stall, not start throwing dead animals all over my kitchen! _His_ kitchen's perfectly fine; why does he have to use mine and let me get stuck with the charcoal marks," Ling Tong grumbled.

Lu Xun chuckled. "Then I don't know. I just think it's kind of funny. Reminds me kind of like an owl."

Ling Tong let Lu Xun eat a few more bites before his curiosity got the better of him. "An owl?" he laughed. "What reminds you of an owl?"

"Gan Ning." Lu Xun set his chopsticks down and tilted his face. "It's kind of like an owl's courtship ritual."

Ling Tong snorted. "_Courtship?_ Lu Xun, if only you knew how silly that sounds."

Lu Xun laughed. "No, it's just a thought. If a male wants to mate, then he brings food to the female-"

"_Mate?_"

Lu Xun nodded. "Yes. Mate. And then the female agrees to it by taking the food, and then they copulate. Interesting, isn't it? How owls signal that the environment is hospitable to rearing young by using food as an indicator. The male stuffs his mate full, and that tells her that he's a fit hunter _and_ that there's a lot of food around."

Ling Tong laughed hollowly. "So a male owl says that he wants to mate by bringing a bunch of food over to the female and stuffing her full."

"Yes. It's really fascinating, the way beasts work." Lu Xun took another piece of the fish. "Not that it has any relevance to your situation of course, but I thought it was amusing, the parallel. Of course, you are definitely not a female owl!" he laughed.

Ling Tong stood up and pushed his chair in. "Heh. Hah. Hoh. Yeah, it's downright hilarious. I'm going to go see if Lu Meng's done, kay? Enjoy the fish," he said, turning around and walking out of the library before Lu Xun could even open his mouth to speak.

He stomped down the hallway, heading away from the meeting rooms and into the garden, where he realized that he didn't actually know where he was going. Still, Ling Tong leaned against a nearby pillar and let out a long exhalation.

_Stupid pirate!_


End file.
